Day 2 | Perfection

Thursday, October 10, 2013

Perfect house, perfect family, perfect friends, perfect job, perfect vacation, perfect image, perfect body, perfect marriage, perfect kids..... 

Perfection is a thief, it's a lie. 

It's a figment of our skewed perspectives. And it is an unattainable mark by which we crucially and painstakingly pick apart our lives and our neighbors and our churches and sports teams and our children and our friends children and their parenting styles and their school choices and their worship styles and their fashion choices, their entertainment choices, the way they do or do not spend their money or invest their time- just to name a few... We may not see it but it's there and that is one of those silent sicknesses in our souls that will eat away every good thing in us until our faces are hardened and just as nasty as the junk inside us.

The sad part is, that perfection isn't even real. We are allowing some standard that only exists in our minds to rob is of the joy of being fully alive in the places and spaces that Our Creator intends for us to be. 

Listen, I am quite sure God never intends on making me a genius. But I have some friends who are. I will likely not be the meekest, most well spoken, sweet little southern woman in my church, or my subdivision or anywhere ever... I won't be the most submissive or the most sane. In fact I can promise you that. I will never monogram anything I wear bc I think it's ridiculous, (and all of you good little sane, sweet, well spoken, cute southern girls just felt as if I stabbed you in the chest with an embroidery need) , it's just not me, go forth and leave your mark! I mark with ink, permanent ink, on my skin, only not my name bc I think I will remember 
that, for now anyway. Ask me again when I have raised this gaggle of awesome kids currently under my roof. I may in fact need that monogrammed on me so if i try to break free from the looney bin I will be easy to identify. 

He also never intends on making me rich, the owner of a bakery, or any other establishment where knowing how not to ruin something as simple as boiling water is sort of a non negotiable job skill. I will never have yard of the month,  and unless Rob and Andrew really have superpowers even crossfit will never make me have a rock hard, cellulite free bottom end... I don't cook well, but I can eat like a champ and as long as I am surrounded by Krispy Kreme and the multitude of Mexican restaurants I will relish in bad choices. 

I am not perfect. 

But, I am real. 

Pause there. Because it is so easy to think that we don't think we think we are perfect.

 You still with me?  

But yet we are so quick to criticize or question other people's choices even if we'd never dare voice it. The bottom line is this, if we didn't think the "perfect" was something to even shoot for, that she or he had it better, or more together, then we would be alot more free to just relish in WHO WE ARE. 

Me, I hate to cook, but I treasure meal time withy kids, all of them at the table, with Daddy blessing take out pizza or slightly burnt bread. I never let my kids fall asleep without a kiss and hug for every year they are alive. That's 29 kisses and hugs between four kids most nights! I am soft- ask Crystal- she has this strange obsession with rubbing my arms and telling me how soft they are... Weird. Which leads me to these incredible people who love me. I have the best friends ever and I could not imagine going back to life without them. I like beer and football way more than heels and dancing. I live for simple but I am so complex. I loathe schedules. Having Brent parked in the sand beside me near the ocean with a smile on his face is my very favorite place to be. I barely graduated college, I struggled in school, but loved teaching it. I've been deeply broken and people are drawn to me and feel safe here bc there is something that just unites us. I want to fit into my favorite jeans that will no longer button and I want to feel worthy and loved and treasured and valued. I doubt myself and I often get lost in daydreams and somedays.. And I am funny, really, really funny. I could make money making people laugh. I have lots of material bc I am an easy target for jokes. I also cry a ridiculous amount of tears because I love so deeply. 

That is all real. It is enough. 

But that perfection lie is back there in my mind and sometimes it wins. It makes me think people are laughing at me not with me and that my identity is JV in a world of Varsity letterman. Striving for someone else's perfect that doesn't even exist is just stupid, and comparison is the thief joy, yet some days it wins. 

So let's just stop striving for something that we will never see this side of heaven and start owing our realness! Call me crazy but that God that made the entire Universe, He is mad creative and I want to be used in HIS story. I don't want to strive so hard for something so fake that I miss the most incredible gift to me, next to his son... The power of my real, my story, my piece of the puzzle... 

I want to be real and I want you to be too. Free your souls and just be. I promise, if there are people out there who love my crazy, there are plenty for you all. 

Stop striving for a lie & let's all get busy bringing real back! 


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