The Toilet Bowl and The Holy Spirit

Saturday, March 15, 2014

Yes, you heard me. The toilet bowl and the Holy Spirit.

The stomach virus ripped through my house this week. Saturday my oldest was the first victim. he bounced back really fast. Then Monday my middle boy fell and Wednesday after the boys left for DC with their Daddy, my sweet girl and I lost the battle. Nothing like being alone with your 5 year old taking turns hanging you head over the toilet. We were a mess. Just straight up sick and pitiful. Thankfully we have a great little tribe of folks here who have taken care of our every need and a God that puts it all into perspective.


Our Golden Retriever has never been one to come upstairs in our home. Probably because when she was little we didn't let her because of the carpet. But, for the past three days, she has parked her sweet self down beside our bed and has not moved an inch except to eat and go outside to potty. She just lays her head on the side of the bed by Mary Cohen and stares at her while she gets some sweet petting. It has made me teary more than once or twice. I had a dog like that when I was a little girl her age. Bootie would grab the back of my shirt and pull me backwards if I got too close to the fence that was full of cows or horses and she would circle me if I got too close to something I wasn't supposed to. Animals sense of protection fascinates me. I am so glad MC and I have sweet Darby girl to watch over us. Some fabulous spoonful of peanut butter is in her near future!



Then my sweet friends, my tribe of family here, have brought us food and flowers and Lysol and more flowers! They are jewels. I couldn't even think on Thursday and Crystal showed up with the mother load of sick supplies and food and flowers for me and MC. I haven't ventured away from the popsicles and Gatorade yet, but when I do, I will be prepared! And then yesterday Cindy sent a text that she had left something on my porch. Bless it! Tulips are my favorite! Blessed are those that have one true friend and I can honestly say I have a small army of them. God is so good to show himself through our people.

But back to the toilet bowl and the Holy Spirit (which I will refer to as the HS from now on.)
I started to feel a little queasy about 5 min into MC throwing up the first time. I honestly thought that it was just from watching her. I HATE vomit. I can do gashing cuts, head injuries, broken bones, a lot of stuff, but I don't do injuries involving feet, hands, teeth or vomit... I totally accept this as strange. Whatever....

But another good 3 minutes later, as I am holding MC's hair back while she looses it over the trashcan, I am bolting for the toilet. As I hung my head, tears streamed down my face and sweat beaded up on my forehead strangely, I could hear the HS. I had begged him to not let me have to throw up. I texted my & girls and asked them to pray that I wouldn't. I seriously pleaded. But as the first round ended and I hung my head, I found myself in this strange place of closeness to God. Words, that were not my own whispered out loud "do whatever you have to do to make me well, just don't leave me." Alot of you checked out right there or are like "whatever girl, I have said the same pleading prayers too,"  but this was so different. Almost immediately my thoughts drifted to all those who are battling the big C word, those that have spent countless nights and days laid out on the bathroom floor begging for God to just take them because the effects of chemo were so hard. My mind focused to the thousands upon thousands of children who bravely fought cholera in Haiti and those that God did call home, of my friend who just had her knee reconstructed and her pain pump that went out after surgery, of my pastor friend who has just been slapped with a cancer diagnosis and is getting ready to head into the deep waters of surgery and chemo. I thought of so many names and faces I will never meet but of who's stories sit with me always.

It was awful. Not even gonna lie. I cried....a lot. I was totally exhausted and I was pretty scared at some points throughout the night as MC and I continued to race to the trashcan and bathroom in what seemed to be a perfectly choreographed dance. A few times she was so exhausted that she just would flail backwards mid vomit and choke and I would just flip her over on her belly and aim her anywhere to keep from choking. But every time the Holy Spirit nudged me to be thankful. Thankful we had more clean towels, more sheets, more trash bags, more washcloths and a toilet for crying out loud and one we could flush!! If you have ever been out of the US to a marginalized or poor country you get this. Every time I wanted to fall apart he reminded me of how capable HE had made me to keep it together.

As my head hung and my body heaved I found my self praying not just for my girl or myself but for those people I mentioned above, the cancer patient, my friend with the knew who was going nuts being inside and hurting, the thousands in places that I could never imagine trying to survive in, my pastor friend. The HS drew me to my knees not only to rid my body of illness but of my perspective. It's so easy to drown in our own self and forget the rest of the world. Not that being ill or pleading to God for yourself is ever selfish. It is not at all. But go with me here for a minute. God can use ANY situation to break our heart for what breaks HIS, to remind us of the OTHER people in the world that are suffering and even over toilet bowls with heaving bodies we can go to Him on behalf of them.

He worked through my people and strawberry popsicles and orange jello. Those two things have been GOLD this week! This whole stomach virus thing has defiantly taken the focus off of my 7 food challenge :) I am currently on day 4 of only three foods thank you very much! Boom!

He worked through my sweet Golden who has been a comforter and protector and He allowed the HS to reach down into my heart through tears and sweat and the thing I hate the most and HE never left. He healed my body and my heart. I became a little more like him over a toilet bowl with a nasty stomach virus and if you don't believe me, the next time you are facing something that scares you or makes your body shudder in pain, just ask Him to do whatever He has to do to make you well and beg Him not to leave you till it's done. My guess is that your body and perspective will find healing. Your faith will grow stronger and HE will show you someone that you can reach out to and cry out for.

From the comfort of clean sheets, a much more settled tummy and a grateful heart, I wish each of you an amazing encounter with God in a seemingly rotten moment. He is the ultimate redeemer of moments, seasons, perspectives and broken people.


"After Job had prayed for His friends, The LORD made him prosperous again and gave him twice as much as he had before.."

Job 42:10

I am not a believer in prosperity gospel. I believe we are shaken so our faith can become unshakable. I believe we are put into situations that we will often never understand this side of heaven that are painful. I believe we are forced to seek comfort so that we can comfort others and I am a believer in taking God at his word to love HIM and love HIS people. I do believe that when we submit to being as concerned for others as we are ourselves he finds favor in us. I pray we will find that favor and that we recognize it and thank Him for it. 

If I can pray for you or yours would you leave it in the comments below. My girl and I are still Homebound and we would love to join with you today! 

Love and Blessings,


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